Courage

Courage… the ability to do something that frightens oneself

With the 100 year anniversary rapidly approaching since the end of WW1, the examples of courage feel never more vivid than right now.
What must it have been like to be in those trenches knowing that near certain death awaited you.
To rush forward towards machine gun fire and see those that you knew falling around you.
unimaginable terror.. unimaginable courage.

I then think of a friend who has seen conflict in more recent times and has received many medals for his bravery.
He has a commanding presence in every sense and has been a huge inspiration to me.

He is a person of values… respectful, loyal, generous, kind but most of all a person who never takes life for granted… he is all about living. Being alive!
Every day he reads something that will spark his imagination or teach him something new… and then he shares it. There is nothing selfish in this mans thirst for knowledge. He will share it with anyone who wants to hear and it is all in aid of a greater good however big or small that might be. Being part of something more than himself is what drives him and always fuelled by a need to honour those who didn’t get this privilege of life.
In his quiet conversations with me about the beauty of the seasons, our human need to change, birds singing in his garden or the pitfalls of being a blond, I feel in awe of him. I can only imagine what he has seen but even my vivid imagination can not capture the wounds of his heart.
His commanding presence is matched by his deep thoughtfulness and care and that makes him a person I admire greatly.

To try to live my very small and simple life with some courage and fearlessness can feel so difficult. It sounds so trivial when I compare it to the unimaginable bravery of others..
What am I afraid of…

Hurting others, making mistakes, not being good enough, being rejected..
Being Alone…

And yet I am human.. don’t we all feel like that sometimes, don’t we all experience that.
And survive it to live another day…

Another friend said to me that I had courage.. I took it but have found it hard to accept..
I feel scared a lot. Fearlessness does not come easily to me.. I have moments where in that second I do or say things exactly as I would like to and when that happens it feels wonderful.. but of course when that passes the fear rises and once again my bravery escapes me.

What I know is that in those fearless seconds my bravery never comes from my head.. it always comes directly from my heart.. as though like a lightning bolt it is powered up to the max and willing to accept whatever comes back in return.
How I hope to find that courage more.

And how that reminds me to  remember and think of the hearts of the courageous many..

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