I’m treating myself to two posts in one day. why not?!
I finished writing the thing that has been like pulling teeth and as an antedote I will write something that has been inspired by my little mate L who always tags a like on all the posts I write and tonight messaged me to say why. Plus I’ve been starved of human contact for 2 days whilst getting that other writing done which feels like a lifetime in my world so feeling like a chatterbox doesn’t even come close. Thank god for a weekend ahead with people I love.
I love writing my blog. I’ve always liked writing down my thoughts but never had shared them. I started with one person who gave me the courage to go beyond that, probably because they were exhausted by those lengthy messages.
I’m not really sure what this blog is even supposed to be or what category I fit in. I’m not sure I even want to fit into a category. Maybe random ramble if that exists.
But none the less I like my thoughts being out there somewhere. Beyond my own head and in a place where no one knows me but I can have a voice. Where I can’t be judged on what I look like, or where I come from or what I do for a living or any of the other insignificant small details we ask when we have conversations or meet new people.
I know often when I answer those questions as if I’m a robot, that they reflect nothing of the person I really am. I’m often tempted to say I’m a lion tamer, an astronaut, hell, a writer for the New York Times.
I wonder if others feel the same when they sit in that small talk. What we love, what makes us tick, what makes us sad or happy what our dreams, fears, hopes are and the opposite of those. These are the things I want to know about people. The stuff that constantly churns around in a persons head and might make it to the surface sometimes but is often hidden and protected from others in case they are judged. And I don”t just care about the good and happy stuff. I want to hear it all, the good, the bad and the ugly.
But I guess there is always the fear of being the weird one. I mentioned it earlier.
Actually my girl calls me that all the time and I quite love it.
When I just looked up the definition it said supernatural and unearthly. Yeah I’ll take weird especially when you compare to the definition of normal.. conforming to standard, usual, typical, expected.
Let’s all be weird! Sounds fucking awesome!
What I search out are the random and small stories, the thought of that day, or how they see and feel their life and the things around them.. that is the stuff I love to read and actually would love to hear when I meet people.
Maybe I’ll try that. Rather than my first question being so what do you do? I might say .. tell me about your dreams? What is your passion? What makes your heart sing?
Or wanna tell me why you are so sad?
Perhaps I will make that a new year experiment.. you know when I’m sober. Totally “normal” when I’ve had a couple of wines or with close friends.
And as for my blog, on the odd occasion that someone likes something I write (beyond the beautiful L) I feel both happy that someone discovered and liked my thought but more so I find myself immediately wanting to know theirs.
I’m new to this whole blogging thing. And sometimes when I look at what surrounds my rambles in intellectually and knowledgable well written pieces I laugh to myself. Do I belong in here? I mean I love theirs and I’m jealous of how articulately they write. I’m fascinated by everything. Could read blogs all day. But where do I fit in the mix?
And yet with each individual like and I quite love that often it will be just one person, I get this sense that I just connected with another person in the world in a way that I wish the whole world would connect.
To see beyond what is right in front of you and glimpse what is sitting underneath. That is totally where all the magic lives. And this year I’m going in search of it. So if a weird stranger walks up to you and asks “what’s the most magical moment of your life?” There is a good chance it might be me.
Be nice 😊❤️