I think this may be the longest gap I’ve had in writing something for my blog. Something about finishing made me start living again and I have had little opportunity to sit and write even though it is something that I really love now. So as I sit in bed I just thought I would say just what’s in my head.
Having fun and being happy has been the number one thing on my mind.
I have felt so light and dreamy.
It’s like I had been in the longest never ending battle being pushed and pulled and finally I made it to the other side.
And I’m drifting. And I like drifting. I had almost forgotten how wonderful that is. While everyone else seems to need a plan, something new and motivation for more, I am carelessly happy drifting in the breeze and landing in mini adventures. So mini that no one would even think them an adventure. I’m just rolling along without any intentions. Just being with my friends laughing and being quietly happy around everyone. And I mean everyone. They are all smiling at me everywhere.. On the tube, walking down the street, In the supermarket, walking round my building, in my therapy, and just sitting chuckling with Batman. It has felt like magic. Dreaming up a list of frivolous and crazy nothing I might want to do with all the extra energy and time I have. Well not that much extra time but bundles of energy. It feels like I can magic up anything out of nowhere. Who needs a magic set. I close my eyes, Dream it up and piff puff poof there’s chocolate cake right in front of me 😊 Pure magic.. but i suppose to anyone looking in it might just look like normal life. But there’s excitement for me in just climbing a little ladder to somewhere I haven’t been before.
I have felt so easy breezy that I haven’t given a second thought to what the future might hold. I just want to be free for a while. And just do as I please, on a whim, thinking up crazy ideas when I’m drunk and then making them happen. I have a spring in my step .. which for a moment became heavy when I forgot about a friend. Someone very important to me, who I assumed was feeling the same way.
When I realised that they weren’t I was so mad at myself for not noticing. I mean I finally got me my own cloud which obviously is rainbow coloured, has a bar, great tunes and room to carry all the best and most magical people I know but I ain’t leaving my cloud rider behind… no way! Not after all this.. if your cloud is under repair then I’m sweeping you up onto mine for a bit. It’s a crazy chilled out party right now but as long as you don’t mind the noise you can sleep through it. And then jump back on yours when you’re ready.
I mean you may resist. Go ahead. But back in my world where I’m not battling, you would just be wasting your time. My cloud will just keep on passing overhead and you won’t be able to resist the tunes that are playing. There’s the pull. And you can jump on and off my cloud whenever you want but I will never push you. Thats not my style. I don’t work that way. Straight forward happy is where I’m at and floating along with me is having not a care in the world. Just be as you want.
Cause there are no requirements on my cloud. Just come as you are, no need to bring a thing and I will try and show you what freedom plus easy breezy happy fun looks like.
Maybe my new rainbow cloud might show you a new thing or two 😊