Flying Solo

The longer I’ve written my blog for, the more I find myself convinced in the power of the universe. If I tell anyone they would look at me like I’m crazy. But perhaps you have to be magic to see it.
When I think of my posts however unrelated, I can see the little threads that connect them together and the details of when I swerve into a new direction. But they are never about just that moment or the one before. A series of happenings, experiences coincidences, words, thoughts, songs, places, encounters. All wrapped up together to create something else. I’ve been feeling a powerful pull, an energy, something so much bigger than me. I wish I could explain that in a way that makes any sense but I trust in it. Total trust. It takes me down dark alleys sometimes but more often through magical lands with destination unknown. I believe that life takes you on a magical mystery tour where you have the power to choose this way or that way. But every now and then, without you knowing it, you arrive at the destination you are meant to reach at that point. No matter what way you chose, how much you took control, and where you planned to get to, you were always destined to reach that point. Destiny.

That’s what I’m feeling. Like somehow the pull is so much stronger than me and whatever I do it’s carrying me as though caught in a whirlpool. I can fight it but it’s pointless. I just need to lie back and let it take me. And I have no idea where that is. Somewhere.
Friday left me with such a belief in myself. No doubt, I was pulled to that place in exactly that moment. It was like I was picked up and taken there. It feels impossible to describe without sounding like a nutter. But I know it. And it felt like it was building and preparing me for something more. Powering me up and reminding of exactly who I am right at my very core. And I like my core. It is totally made from dreams.
My weekend, which will be a post in itself, saw me at my most dreamy but also at my most strong, independent and happy.
I speak all the time about love. I give it out willingly to anyone and everyone. Always will.
But I realised yesterday that it would require someone absolutely ground shakingly incredible to make me love enough to compromise on my freedoms and happiness. In fact if you need me to compromise on those then you are not the right person for me. I don’t need someone to get everything right. Just take me and love me exactly as I am and I would do the same with you. But please don’t try to change or control me.

Because actually, I’m very happy flying solo and I don’t feel alone anymore. I just feel very happy and free.


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