Often I have serendipitous moments. They happen a lot. I often refer to them as the universe. It’s the fluffy in me. Totally believe in it.
I have rambled on a lot about the new dog that has brought lots of joy into my world. I’m loving and enjoying it for exactly what it is. Simple happy fun moments that are leaving my heart blossoming like a little flower and making me skip along as though I’m permanently in a field of daisies. Me at my most dreamy happiest and the truest and most basic version of who I am. And I have no doubt that I’m taking that happy around with me wherever I go right now and sprinkling it like fairy dust on anyone who passes my way. I feel giggly and light and strangely very confidently me. A fluffy little teddy bear dog. Proper cuddly😊 I guess if you don’t like that breed or they are too much then you can always just put them in the other room so you can chill out and be quiet.
It’s strange how you can spend time with a dog and see quite a lot of yourself in them. It makes me laugh when I think about it as I remember once on the tube that my friend L called me a puppy dog.
I thought maybe that was a bad thing, but actually when I look at what we have in common it doesn’t look too shabby.
1. Super excitable… bounding around and jumping up. Feeling playful and fun and excited in the company of those I like best. Too much sometimes when someone wants to be quiet. But I often forget that because I’m excited and I want to share it. Because I want them to join in with the fun and be part of it with me.
2. Loving .. stroke the back of my neck and you’ll probably get the same reaction as Miss L.
I want to be loved and show love. Can you do that too much? Apparently as a human, yes you can, but it’s ok if you’re a puppy where Lots of love is allowed. What a very strange concept that is. Me and Miss L spent a whole evening cuddled up together on the settee without a word. It was peaceful and beautiful and warm and every now and then we just looked at each other.
3. I Like being taken for a walk. I’m curious and interested in everything and anything. I like other randoms. They’re interesting. Although I wouldn’t necessarily want to take them home with me. They can remain in the forest to look for other puppies.
4. I love treats. Not ones that cost anything. Just little shows of appreciation. It makes me appreciate others even more.
5. Dreamy and sleepy .. yeah I love that.. I can spend hours doing it. I don’t see it as a waste of time or being unproductive. It makes for happy. What better product than that.
6. Friendly.. I want to make others happy too. Everything is more fun when other people are happy also. When people smile then I get even more excitable.
7. Observing.. I take it all in. I might look like I’m snoozing but I’m actually seeing and hearing more than people might realise and I Know I have a very reliable sixth sense.
8. Unique and with funny little ways .. yep I sure do have some funny and individual ways. Perhaps they are silly and laughable and weird and annoying to others but that’s how I’m made and I dont know any different. We are all unique. That’s what makes us all so special.
9. Independent .. I like company, a lot, but I’m ok by myself. I can chill and enjoy being by myself. I like exploring. And it makes me more excited when I see others. I’ll be yap yap yapping away after being so quiet. But it’s only because I have something to say and I like sharing.
10. Loyal and loving..I don’t want anyone to hurt me and if they do I may bite to protect myself. But for those who care for me I will love them above and beyond and I don’t need to get back what I give. I like giving out love. Even if you hurt me I will still keep trying to love you. I’m not perfect and I sure do make a mess sometimes but that doesn’t mean I’m bad. I instinctively know what feels safe and what doesn’t and if someone is genuine and if they are not and when someone cares about me and when they don’t. But at the root of everything I am full of love. And the only thing I ask for is, just be nice to me.
I’m very loyal and I will look out for you and bark if anyone tries to hurt you but please take care of me too. I can take care of myself but protecting those we love is important in my world.
Last night I was chatting to G over a glass of red. Miss L kept coming over to jump up with me and G said ” I feel a little jealous. Like she’s loving you more”. She didn’t mean it but I was very aware of not wanting to impede on their relationship even though as I said to her, I’m just another admirer of Miss L and someone different. I love her more than she loves me. She’s all about you and I’m a decent sub when you’re not here.
She knew it but I think she wanted to hear it.
And it made me think about what it would be like having my own.
I guess I might at some point but I don’t have a massive need in that right now.
A friend who adores their puppy told me that it was practice for having children. I didn’t have a dog so I couldn’t really compare but it felt on the surface very different.
In fact so different that it is virtually impossible to compare. The love with the dog .. well it’s pretty wonderful. Happy love. Joyful love. Easy love. Beautiful love.. unconditional love .. well from the dog at least.
With kids the unconditional part is completely the reverse and the love is the sort that you would die for.
And then beyond that it is lifelong commitment that can be thankless at times but is more rewarding and wonderful and epically amazing than a single other thing i will ever possibly experience in life.
I guess that’s my own perspective as a mum.
And I was thinking about the fact that she is mine. Only she isn’t anyone’s. She is her own. I take care of her and I love her and would do anything for her but she doesn’t belong to me. She is her own person with her own life and dreams and hopes and I never want to stop her from living those. Her happiness is everything. I could push her or make choices for her and maybe those will help her avoid mistakes or become more successful but I think life is more about what you do with it than where you get. Why, having been through various shit times do I feel happy. Because my life is my own. I share it happily but no one owns this puppy and the minute you try I will run faster than Usain Bolt.
G said to me last night actually I would like to share Miss L more. Maybe with kids. I think she would be really good with them.
I said to her what a wonderful idea that was and talked about possible places to do that.
This morning I arrived at work and was offered the opportunity to work with a 5 year old girl with a phobia of dogs. I have no experience in this area.
Serendipity strikes again. I’m so supposed to be doing this and as ever will walk through it learning as we go, but on this occasion I will have some very special help in the form of my beautiful and joyful assistant. Serendipity Dog… Miss L, bring on your magic! ❤️