Sometimes a string of things happen that make you reevaluate where you are.
I have had a strange few days filled with all sorts.
It started when I found
a tune for 3 musketeers when I was looking for something else. It made me laugh in its old skool style and I thought of my mum who absolutely loves Rod Stewart but not quite as much as I love her. She was the heart that I followed.
I then found myself wandering around inside my head. Top hats for lampshades, musical notes around red curtains and showtime in neon lights.
It prompted me to stand up and ask 2 questions which left a few people commenting on my insight. What normally would sit in my head came out under the spotlights and elevated me to a new place of being more than I might appear. It was a nice feeling and I skipped home.
By Saturday I heard from a friend whose dream had been elevated to whole new levels. Never had I felt so so happy for someone. I had quietly been wishing for that dream since hearing the words “alright mate” on a park bench. It stayed with me for 2 years and I believed in it.
But I was left uncomfortable in where that dream would be realised. Sitting on different sides of the fence can sometimes feel like gap year students travelling round the globe and thinking they understand all those different cultures. But people are more complex than a cultural dish. It left me feeling very protective of someone leaping naively into an unpredictable animals cage. I can’t help worrying or caring but hoping that it makes them happy.
I then heard from a friend who had been involved in an accident. She is lucky to be alive. I felt tearful when I spoke to her. For a moment I imagined the world without her in it and how much magic would be lost without her.
She is being brave as I know her to be but it feels like she has a long road to recovery and I feel sad in thinking how close she was, to feeling ready to start pursuing her dreams only to find herself in yet another challenge. I will try to be whatever she needs.
This afternoon as I walked through the forest I randomly found myself on the set of some tv filming. A whole array of camera crew in vans and trucks and cars.
As I wandered along I heard “ok final take”
I found myself following along behind the two lead actors. As they turned round I saw one of my favourite English actors who I have seen in a whole array of tv dramas.. Little Dorritt, my nans favourite book and the park I visit frequently and Being Human.. “the story of a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost trying to live together in a house where their supernatural powers challenge them but their desire to be human bonds them”
As I passed he smiled and I smiled back and said hello.
There was something very poetic in that random and unscripted meeting and it gave me a little more hope that all would be well.