Tonight I saw my friend. It was so lovely seeing her. She has a specialness that means such a lot to me. She filled my evening with her wonderful magic which carried me home.
Something about the past month or so has drained all my sparkle.
It feels like it has sucked it out of me. Like I was full of it when I started something. I had it by the bucket load. What had felt like an adventure filled with dreamy magic feels like the opposite of that now, in my realisations of what I didn’t know at the time. I think perhaps it was easier when I thought I had imagined it.
On my way home tonight my girl sent me a quote. She has seen my sadness but doesn’t know why.
When I told her who I was with she said “say I said hi. And I think she is nice and Thankyou for being a good friend to you.
The quote she sent me
“Sometimes you need to burn bridges to stop you crossing them again”
I’m not sure what it is that she sees but she can obviously feel my hurt.
What she doesn’t know is that burning bridges is exactly what I do to stop other people from being able to cross and hurt me.
I wish it didn’t hurt me but it just did.