The rules of a what’s app group

The rules of a what’s app group?
I am part of a many what’s app groups. Apart from a couple that are my super closees, I really don’t like them.
I find them another source of fitting in to what’s expected. It makes me think about the stuff that teens talk about.
Despite being part of these groups I rarely communicate on them preferring to just contact each individual. I have a different connection with each and talk to them in different ways. One size has never fitted all with me and perhaps what’s app requires that.
Even Individually, things can very easily be lost in translation in a way that in person they are not.
It’s just so impersonal.
Like going through the motions.
I guess I struggle completely with social media. It always feels completely shallow, pointless and lacking in any connection whatsoever. It’s no surprise that the best I can do is LinkedIn.
Every now and then I might accept a bucket load of invites but I never ever read it.
Job searching is its only purpose for me. If those people wanted to remain connected to me then they would talk to me. But people don’t do that now. The art of building relationships after leaving somewhere feels pretty lost. Unless you are in the moment you are reduced to a face on a website or a what’s app group chat.
And unfortunately in removing a human element I disconnect very quickly.
Like all things, it might be the way it’s all moving, but counselling on line… not feeling it.. without the human element you are just exacerbating the problem. Most people who I see are devoid of a strength of human connection that allows them to show their deepest self and then feel something in return.
If there is one thing certain in this life, I feel!
But I can’t feel a single thing from a message. It’s so mechanical.
Even when I compare it to letters. There is something different in a letter. Handwritten with the flair, personality and individualism of their handwriting. My gran and nan kept every single letter I ever wrote them. Which I loved because they were all written with such love and if I think of letters I have received I can feel something in those that just doesn’t come across online. Call me old fashioned but I’m just being honest.
Just because you can see each other in a group doesn’t mean you are still connected together. Or maybe it’s just me?
I’m feeling like I want to exit one particular group. It has very little purpose for me now. I speak to nearly all the people within it individually to a greater or lesser extent. Closer to some than others.
I read it just to make sure people are ok. That feels like it’s one purpose. Peace of mind that they are all safe and well. I would always wish that for each and every one of them. Every single one of them.
When someone announces something I always reply individually rather than on group. I can only assume that others do the same. So then why all the joint responses. So that others know that you have responded? By responding you are still part of the group? Playing within the rules Everyone else can see that you are still in it?
I wonder if people assume that because you don’t respond on group that you haven’t spoken to that person or don’t care.
Does everyone need to know my response?
I’m so aware of my distance from what can feel superficial. It’s like I’m allergic to it.
So many rules to everything these days and who makes those rules up?
I think all those rules may be the reason I struggle so much with friendships that sit in the middle of strangers and close. It just all feels a little hard work without any substance.
So why do I not just remove myself from these what’s app groups. Because it feels like you are making a statement and I don’t want to. I guess easier to just have it on mute.

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