I feel like I’m getting a little stronger everyday. Working hard to make myself stronger. Talking myself stronger.
There is no reason for it. But I can feel it. The situation is completely unchanged. I’m still living from one day to the next praying for this long and painful process of trying to secure that loan so that basic security can be regained.
It’s getting there slowly but it is taking forever.
If it was just me I would not care. But for my girl.
I hate what this looks like right now.
I feel lesser in not being able to provide that most basic thing. A secure home. I mean eventually I think it will be ok, hopefully, but until it’s sorted and in the meantime, it’s tough to deal with on a practical and emotional level.
Surviving each day in the faith that it is another step closer to my goal. Anything beyond does not matter. I do not care about beyond.
Hanging tough I am and I can at least feel proud in that.
I finally shared with aquaman and black panther what my world looks like. I needed that support of awareness. Nothing more. Life continues as usual. No one would know anything is any different. I like it that way. Ask me no questions I’ll tell you no lies.
Aquaman has been making me laugh. He’s a boy from similar roots who is really clever, loyal and genuine. He knows he can make fun of me and I won’t take offence. Because I know there is no put down or meanness behind it. I know the difference.
Just before I left tonight he was telling one of the Directors about me while I was getting ready to go.
She is a very strong character. She’s easy going and just gets on with it, but she knows her own mind.
I appreciated both his description of me and his way of telling me I can do it.
Those little hands of friendship make all the difference to me. They might not realise it but they really do ❤️