Saying it like it is. Been doing it all week. Not in that mean way when people are really blunt and tell someone what gets on their nerves.
Actually in the main it’s pretty rare that people really get on my nerves. Well, Except people that are mean to me or others that I love. They are rarities .. but as I usually lose interest in people like that very quickly, I don’t feel the need to tell them. There are others that they love and love them and we can both be happy in not being part of each other’s worlds.
I’m talking about Saying it like it is, to all the people that I like and that either make me laugh, make me think, are caring or inspiring.
I feel lucky. I know quite a few like that and they help to make me happy as I try to find my way in this life. I’m definitely finding my way. Keeping it simple. Back to basics is fitting with me very well. On the surface a complicated life but inside a simple and happily dreamy head.
I often think of different people. Hoping they are ok, or feeling the sadness that they are going through or feeling so grateful for their amazing way that brings wonderful to my world. What if they knew how much admiration, or love or respect or care I have for them. How lucky I feel that I met and know them and how much I appreciate them.
So rather than think it I’m saying it like it is..
L and K are probably bored with me telling them how wonderful they are. But you are!
Whatever happened to me last Friday has multiplied and multiplied and given me extra energy and warmth. It has made me feel completely open to life. Allowing me to unleash my love in all its uncensored and very real variety. I went for it all week. Smiling at people everywhere. Lots of random little chats. Nothing things just for a split second.
There are some people I know, especially men who are not known for their fluffy, and don’t really have the sort of convos as a rule, in being told how much they are cared about. But fuck it I thought. Be fearless in the way you are, like they are in theirs. In all their manly bravado I care about them. Life is just as tough and difficult even when you are rock ‘ard and keep emotions in check. A few of my superheroes are struggling in different ways. Known but tucked underneath. I am definitely the girly girl of the group. I told them that I could see it and gave them a bit of love. What was interesting was their responses. Those rock ‘ard boys became gentle little lambs with me in getting some kindness. I was called a sweetheart by Superman.
Feels sweet being called a sweetheart. I genuinely care about those same people that always look out for me and was returning the favour. A bit of love and care certainly helps me in my trials. Why the hell would it be any different if you are a man.
Even a superman.
And then sharing with someone who helped and inspired me to keep going. Stay on a track that has felt so difficult but gave me one of the most beautiful moments of my life last week. I didn’t hear back for a few days. In the past I would have worried whether I had done something wrong or whether they didn’t want to know me anymore. But I didn’t. I knew they would respond at some point because I had faith in who they are. The crazy man whose passion is their strength.
Or my new acquaintance who is loving my little shares. Apparently I’m different and interesting and beautiful which is making me feel very free and easy. I totally have more to me than just sweet. And I like that it’s being seen. It needs to be seen.
And then my girls. Women! I’m finally feeling my strength from having felt so very vulnerable. Seeing how much beauty there is in all those different shades of a woman’s strength. I’m embracing it so much in myself. That same vulnerability is what creates a connection in a much more deep and Meaningful way that feels so much more valuable to me and them than the superficial. Those relationships are the ones worth looking after and investing my effort in.
I wanted to share my version of what beautiful strength looks like to me , with other women that inspire me. So many different types of women who all have one thing in common. They look out for other women. I’ve always been a woman’s woman. Seeing the wonder in other women’s intelligence or physical beauty or kindness or creativity or strength or or.. the list goes on.. there is something so important for me in women supporting other women and celebrating the different versions of what that looks like.
The first response I had was from the young, beautiful and sexy V at work who exudes confidence and glamour but also has insecurities and fears which are shared in our girly chats. What an inspiring young woman she is. I love being around her.
I could tell you a different version of the same for all the other women I shared with.
How proud I feel to have connected to all these different and beautiful women.
And then in my session yesterday I shared how impactful last week had been on me. (It rocked my world and changed me overnight) my admission of honesty prompted another session of beautiful. Not on the same level as last week. That kind of moment is a complete rarity, that will live with me forever.
But it cemented something really special.
Which found me after the session finished wanting to remind a real life friend how valued and important they are to me. They gave me courage at the beginning to not feel scared of showing who I am and that I wasn’t alone.
Despite our massive differences which I didn’t see at the beginning, I love them such a lot. That will never ever change. They are my imperfectly perfect friend and they always will be.
What is amusing is that they actually have got on my nerves at different times. We have fallen out in moments. But rather than losing interest it made me try even harder to understand them while they tried to understand me. I wouldn’t actually change a thing about them. I like that they are so different even when it doesn’t fit. I find myself laughing a lot. And that’s as real as it gets. Saying it exactly like it is feels like a pretty wonderful thing.
It’s the difference between authentic or fake.
Besides I know a fluffy cloud when I see one. Even if they don’t.