Chase the Sun

What a lovely Friday evening. My two angels were on form and came complete with a few extras from the job I left 4 years ago. I remember those big Christmas lunches we had there back then. Always so much fun. I left there on exactly that Christmas lunch day 4 years ago, absolutely hammered. I made a lot of friends there and had soooo many fun nights out. It was a magic time in life and I have so many amazing memories of what that was. Felt like I left there on such a high.
I can’t remember if we made the kings head on that memorable pub crawl that saw BH awkwardly shimmying across the dance floor. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who looks so uncomfortable in their 6ft 6 inch shoes.
I heard from that elusive Mr logic half way through my day. Nice timing. I always know it’s Christmas when his very formal well worded and dryly funny messages come with a little fluff. He knows I’m a fan of an emoji of which he is not, so a few emojis and kisses thrown in is a Christmas treat to remind me of his always very genuine care. Always makes me laugh. Must be the most bizarre friendship I have but that difference is pretty magical actually and I can practically feel him chuckling with no facial expression
There’s a difference that works for me. His calm and sensible persona brings out my cheeky and carefree side. A friend that was there right at the very beginning of that journey. I remember him meeting C when he met me in the pub after college one day and she laughed at how totally different we were. It’s never mattered and he was so happy for me when I finally finished although I think it amuses him that I am the counsellor bearing in mind he has called me a nutter on more than one occasion.

The kings head was buzzing last night in the build up to Christmas. Complete with singer who managed to pull off Sinatra, Elvis and Ska reggae. Hahaha only round here would you get that interesting combo. No one cares about cool . Down to earth real is where it’s at although we did have a little Chanel/channel to add a touch of something 😊 although as she showed us her NYPD t shirt underneath her jumper I thought perhaps she was about to provide a little extra entertainment beyond the booked singer. She could totally pull it off if she so wished.
She may have been blessed by the pope but she is more than just an angel.
Me and L were laughing.
I was as happy as you like chatting away, drinking pink gin and munching on pub grub chicken and chorizo kebabs. And as I walked home I smiled at how at home I am feeling in my world. I absolutely love dipping my toe in others worlds but it feels so easy in this environment. It’s exactly what it says on the tin. All ages welcome for a boozy knees up. All nutters come this way.

I had woken up in the morning with such a beautiful feeling. I felt it as I drove along early for my extended day of work.
I call it work but actually it never feels like that for me. I genuinely care about each and every one of the people I see. They really matter to me. Broke those boundaries by accepting all the Christmas chocolates that were given. I would just offend them if I didn’t. It’s a gesture of appreciation as opposed to all the sinister reasons that I’m supposed to be aware of. I laugh to myself sometimes when I think back to some of those convos In training. I respect those boundaries as much as the value in being a real human. There is always a line but I have to place  it where it feels right.

Before I started my day I wanted to let my team know how much they matter to me too. It’s hard not to get caught up in the frustrations of work sometimes and also to have to keep that professionalism. Ha what am I saying.. I’ve never been professional. You get me as I come in normal life. At my end of year review I was praised up by G for being so approachable with everyone and how I value everyone there in the same way. He commented how I talk to the Director General in the same way as everyone else. Why wouldn’t I? He’s just another fella behind the title. And he is always very friendly and chatty when I catch him in the lift. Ive never been impressed by someone’s position in the world. The way people behave towards others gains so much more respect from me than a title.
My team are not exactly the fluffy crowd of huggers but I proper love them. My new colleague G who is from Italy (Naples to be precise) is another dreamer. She told me that she smiles in her sleep and she was destined to work here. Bingo!
I’m also sensing that there is a little bit of feisty. Neapolitan style. I know what that looks like. She laughed that I knew how to say cheers the Neapolitan way. That other feisty little Italian friend taught me that. I’m ready to catch up with her in the new year. Having sent her a parcel for the twins I found out she has moved and is currently in Italy for the holidays. Hoping she isnt pissed off with me in my distance but I have needed to be in a good place before I reconnected.

Im feeling so like me again. What a very wonderful and long awaited feeling that is for me.
It’s like having all the darkness removed and leaving a whole lot of light. It’s pouring in as I feel the balance I had before I ever started that journey.
The kind happy dreamy girl that just enjoys life and has fun but is thoughtful and deep thinking too. I’ve been trying and trying to get back to her and just not been able to quite get there. Now I have and It is just feeling nice 😊

As I returned today from a lovely afternoon in Covent Garden with my girl, I caught the end of Fallon Sherrock hitting the bullseye to win her darts match. Come on!!!!! 😊
Against all odds and doing it for the underdog girls.
Love that!!!!
My world is changing and looking different .. but that different is feeling pretty good.
And it is finding me ready to sing!!!



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