A few weeks ago my girl showed me a photo of a woman looking completely broken.
She said to me “I feel so sorry for her. She looks so sad”.
“Yes she does” I said “that feels very sad”.
The girl who had found her way to fame and success and sat on top of the world was driven to her knees by those tabloid comics. Those same comics that influence who we should vote for.
How easily the mob are entertained.
Like a modern day colosseum where pleasure and excitement and something to gossip about takes the form of another celebrity.
You entertain the Devil then don’t be surprised when it expects to be repaid by taking you to the depths of despair..
They’re fair game we say..
or in media terms, spinning a story of someone’s life in a way that gratifies the desires of the celebrity adoring mob who salivate at someone’s rise and fall.
How we do love to kick a person when they are down.
So much easier to kick another for their mistakes and difficulties than to look into ourselves and see our own.
As I walked away from my girls bedroom I felt that this woman was so at risk of falling into deep despair. The world of celebrity with a million crocodile smiles surrounding you as they all battle for survival in this pretend and superficial world.
Your rise can be extraordinary as you become the hottest thing. But be in no doubt. The moment you don’t provide the image required you will be crucified. A crucifixion that plays out for all those bloody hungry eyes who feel the jealousy of just a normal girl becoming more than they might be.
This story will once again be spun as a tragedy by those that fuelled that isolation, aloneness, paranoia.
For someone to take themselves out of this world means that they cannot see any reason to remain in it. That they feel the world would be a better place without them or they would be better off without this world.
And yet somewhere out there amongst all the media frenzy are people who genuinely loved this girl. Whose world is crushed in her not being in the world anymore. Questioning what they could have done to help her. Trying to make sense of what has happened.
To say I felt angry at the world last night is an understatement.
Why do we so love to kick people when they are down.
To make sure they suffer a little more in their sadness and pain.
When I listen to my clients talking about the traumas and sadnesses in their lives and try to help them find their way through them I am always struck by how often surrounding that is the unkindness of others in every day life. The bitching and back biting in the workplace which can be the difference in pushing a person under.
Is it really too much to just show some kindness and care to each other in the knowledge that all our lives extend beyond the places we work, we all have difficulties and challenges in life and we can often feel very alone and sad in that.
No one learns to be compassionate. You just have to feel it. I met a woman who has never been shown an ounce of compassion as a young girl. And yet what was missing her whole childhood has become the thing she wishes to provide to those she loves. Why? Because she understands what it feels like to be so alone and never want others to feel like that too.
We can shout at those tabloids and curse social media but until we take responsibility for our own role in this world we are the equivalent of a five minute speech at the oscars. Actions speak louder than words. These big and influential money making machines that dictate to us how we should be and what has value are only so powerful because we fuel them.
Politics, business and marketing and media. They are all part of the same machine. While we continuously crave the sort of entertainment that has the ability to destroy people’s lives then we will get what we deserve.
A world where no one cares about their neighbour.
Shame on us for fuelling the machines that can drive a person to take their life.
This world is lesser in every moment that happens.