While the country is in chaos and my girl is coming to terms with no clubbing for the forseeable future my mum is out there in her isolation station making apple pies.
Three in three days 😊 old T is gonna look like an apple pie if she continues at this rate.
And as her apple pies are the best I felt like she was just teasing me
especially with the lack of anything much in my cupboards.
But as we are all pretty low maintenance on the food front, frosted shreddies and mushrooms on toast will easily keep us going for the next 3 months providing I’ve got a packet of chocolate digestives to back it up.
My big news apart from applying for a third job at Tesco’s to try and bridge that one salary gap and keep on top of our bills, is that I bought myself an electric cigarette in an attempt to give up smoking. Less for my health and more for my bank balance.
I like the little blue light that glows as I inhale and puff out pretend smoke.
In other news I’ve also been added to several group chats which I’ve muted already.
I wish people wouldn’t add me. I feel bad for saying that.
I get how we all need to stay connected and I absolutely am for all those I love and care about, my clients who I will continue to support remotely and those that live around me. I will always try and help others. I love a stranger and Kindness is exactly what we need to give each other.
But the more I am being forced to have to connect to people the more I don’t want to… it’s as though we can’t possibly be on our own. Why not? There is something quite lovely for me in the thought that I will have some quality time with my girl and time to talk to my mum and brother and other special friends that I rarely have time to talk to in my normal life.
This need for constant chat is getting on my nerves. Those lovely caring people setting up those groups for others. Dare I question that? Is it really for others?
Because it almost feels like if you embrace self isolation you are being selfish, uncaring and not a decent member of society.
And yet we are all having our own individual challenges and trying to find some happiness within those in order to survive it.
I’m dealing with my own financial worries and thinking of the vulnerable people in my family as well as my friends I care about. I would be there for anyone who needs it or anyone who feels alone but I also intend to spend this time doing stuff that I don’t normally have time to do. Being quietly creative, walking in the forest, listening to music. Just being at one with myself.
I love others but Im also very ok on my own. I don’t need people all the time and as I’m going to be in a small space 24/7 with others a constant barrage of group chats is frankly the last thing I need.
I spoke to my little bro last night who was feeling the strain of his own lack of income and was also feeling a bit down and a bit lonely.
We ended up swapping dance tunes and I promised him that when this is all over we would head to Ibiza.
You gotta have a dream. Even if it feels like it’s a million miles away right now. But having it in mind and believing it will come true is all we really need to keep going.
And in the meantime we agreed to share the different little things that we do with our days that make us happy whether that be his bike riding or my dress making.
Because as we both discovered when we talked about things we might want to do.. time is a gift and sometimes I want to be around others but sometimes I really don’t and being able to embrace self isolation will make the experience a whole lot less painful and perhaps might even be something quite wonderful…
For me, an opportunity to Dare to Dream!!!!
Thanks for the tune K❤️