This mornings walk was my favourite so far. I actually had a lie in. Not waking up until 6am.
I took a little bit of time but still set off really early into the vast forest. I feel lucky that it is my front garden.
As I was walking back i shared a feeling that I had yesterday.
The convo went off on a little tangent and I was then left with a perfect cherry and almond feeling which didn’t belong to me. But I borrowed It to inspire me to create a perfect combination for myself.
Chocolate strawberries I might try and get some from the shops. Melt the chocolate, dip the strawberries in.. leave them to chill.. 😊
Fanny’s your aunt!!! 😂
My walks contain a mixture of the natural sounds of the forest and dancing along to music. When my little feet feel the beat then I just let it happen.
I saw a few people this morning. I said hello and smiled at everyone At a distance. There were lots of men on bikes riding past this morning who looked like they hadn’t been on their bikes for years but looked so happy in their early morning exercise.
I felt like a bit of a flirt as I walked along smiling at each one as they were the only boy in the world. Well until the next one came along.
It felt very free and easy but I’m not really so fickle.
I don’t know why I felt happier today. Maybe I just slept well. Maybe I am feeling comfortable in my alone. Maybe I feel less alone in ways I would have in the past. Being able to share different versions of how I’m made from a distance and loving the reciprocated version.
Actually it’s less about not feeling alone and more about a sharing that makes me happy.
My morning walk is without question my favourite part of the day.
I feel so free and easy in it. I can be just as I am without having to please anyone or be what I’m not.
Different songs that I am listening to, creating different feelings in me. My head is so full of thoughts right now. Some of them quite lovely and dreamy and some quite sad and dark.
To not question so much during this time would feel ignorant.
And I connect to things in my own way.
Rather than sharing in those “we can get through it” quotes I’m more connected to the issues that are highlighted in a moment like this. It’s easier to gloss over them but this is the moment that they have more impact.
It’s a balance of my own wellbeing and caring about others
I had a moment of gratitude yesterday in seeing Emily Maitless call things like they are in newsnight. Thankyou for being so bold.
The collateral damage that makes me so very sad.
Hearing someone pushing back against the facade of the great leveller and talking the talk that people don’t necessarily want to hear of don’t believe they are a part of. We are all a part of the machine. I always find it shocking how many so called “educated people” don’t believe they play a role. Keep pulling away the layers and eventually you will see your role in it. I think about it a lot. I question most things. I am always learning my part.
It’s why ignorance is bliss.
But in questioning things it is also where all my gratitude lives and comes from.
And I certainly am grateful to all the people who put themselves in harms way and are most as risk. I dream and wish for a world that really starts to address and value equality long after this has passed.
I had a moment yesterday where I thought maybe it could happen. If people see it. And then just like my friend, that thought slipped away.
A sad feeling to know that if something like this doesn’t change things then it will never happen. But I guess history provides the evidence of that.
However as I walked back very dreamily and imagining all the things I wish could be my life, I held on to the dream of Love. Love that conquers all. Against all odds.
Love is everything for me. If I have that then I will have it all. It’s all I really want or need. If that makes me stupid them call me stupid.
Love is the greatest leveller. Because it doesn’t cost a penny.
“Some people are so poor. All they have is money” Bob Marley