Isn’t it strange how a series of personal events that have had a detrimental effect of my life have in the main not made me cynical when it comes to love and togetherness and yet a worldwide virus and a daily call of global togetherness has made me more cynical than I’ve felt my whole life.
Or am I less cynical and more looking with my eyes wide open?

Watching celebs becoming ambassadors of world wide peace and love and people lapping it up no questions asked.
So desperate to be part of the being kind movement that they haven’t even considered what that means. All sharing on social media and telling people they are not alone. Only I’m guessing if you always felt removed from the masses you will probably retreat a little further.
So I am switching off all media. Having a connection with the people who I’m close to and smiling, saying hello or asking how somebody is if I pass people when I’m walking or when I see a neighbour.
No big shakes there. Just living like I always have. There’s just less people around.
Or saying thankyou for someone serving me or helping me. Don’t we all do that anyways??
Seeing celebs at home trying to look useful even though they are as useful as me. Yeah it does feel tough having no real or meaningful use doesn’t it. Or are they just very aware of the price tag that comes with their useless.
All wanting to shout their appreciation for key workers. Yep we all appreciate them. They are amazing. But how about instead of singing lots of songs, maybe club all your millions together and then share it out with all those lower paid nurses and care workers so that they might struggle a little less or do something nice with their kids when this is all over and your go back to your rock star lifestyles.
Meanwhile the marketeers cash in on togetherness. We can all stay connected with mobile phones and broadband networks. I heard the offer from one, in telling all NHS workers they have free data until October (bloody right)
Or should I say advertising it. Like giving someone a present and then telling everyone how much you spent on it so they might thing how great you are and want to be your friend and spend their money on you.
Cynical? Massively.
Less cynical about people and more about the system. The worldwide global system that is tightening its grip on us when this is over.
And yet I do always find myself wondering about the distinct lack of questioning by other people. Feeling like I’m some kind of crazy. The girl who feels sad in her own life right now and being angry with the world gives her a place to put it?  And yet as crazy as I might feel right now actually I’ve always felt like this. Watching the power of individuals being taken away slowly, not so they would notice. Giving them sweets so they did as they were told. Like training puppies.
The propaganda so subtle that It doesn’t seem to matter what we are told, what we are sold we just accept it.
Our kids being so brain washed from marketing that they’ve lost the ability to rebel or push back unless they are told to do so.
Right now so desperate to create something that makes us feel really good we don’t wonder about the machine that is running it or what might sit behind it.
I felt like I was disconnecting from people. When in fact I am disconnecting from the machine that I don’t have the will to fight right now.  Other than hearing those key messages I’m shutting out the rest.
I’d rather just watch movies than hearing those patronising tones of celebs telling us all what we need to do. What I actually need is to hear less from them and that on/off button is the limited power I do own.
Self isolation is turning into exactly that. Although I will allow gogglebox in because I just love them and they make me laugh. In fact anything that makes me laugh or is filled with genuine love or genuine thought and feeling is welcome into my world.

One thing is for certain. Global domination by all those big corporates who swerve our taxes and pay low wages is an increased certainty as they will surely survive this lockdown. I laugh as they sell it all to us using a feeling of  “we are all in this together”. Aaaahhh thanks Google, Amazon, etc etc. You are just all heart ❤️

I think that might be my last little rant for a bit. Just while I give myself a chance to take care of me but I wouldn’t be real if I didn’t say it.
As broken down as I might be, I can still smell bullshit even when it is all wrapped up in hippy flowers. The bohemian dream it is not.

Heres an alternative.. perhaps if we all spend a little time being really quiet and considering what sort of world we wish to live in we might come up with our own new and more wonderful  version that takes care of all the people. The people you see when you are standing outside clapping with your neighbours, or in the supermarket or taking your daily walk, rather than the ones we are being marketed, sold and will no doubt end up with when all this is over.

Power to the people. All the individual little people!!!

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