I’ve stopped suddenly. Seeing a tree that has snapped and allows me to climb up it to a higher place where I can observe all the passers by from a place where I am invisible. Like living in my own little tree house in the middle of the forest. It’s a really cool spot.
I love sitting here.
Sometimes I have to ask the question to find the answer. Do I need to feel needed?
Probably I said. Doesn’t everyone?…
Once again I walked away from it thinking that’s not it.
I like giving. Something I will be thinking on further as I walk. (Although right now I think I could lie in this tree all day and just dream).
In actual fact what I really want is to just be wanted. Without any need attached to it.
With my girl it comes as part of the package. As a mum I want her to be self sufficient and independent but of course I am always there if needed.
Well that’s how I see that role.
And then I’m always happy to be there for anyone but especially people I love. We all need some care don’t we?
But it’s so tiring always being needed. I’m a giver. I like giving because it is a form of care. And I love to care.
But when it is constantly needed I find it draining. It takes away all the joy. And I find myself feeling needy.
There is something lovely for me right now as I sit in my tree house and realise I am beginning to take care of my own needs. And as I do feeling more and more like the happy dancer I am.
When I was at college I loved this clip. It represented the perfect relationship for me. The togetherness and the freedom in all those differences. It found me back then and struck me in all its wonder but this morning I looked for it to remind myself why I loved it…
Beautiful freedom in togetherness. Beautiful togetherness in freedom.