Today I had a J Lo moment as I smiled, pulled my sunglasses down a little, whipped my freshly washed hair as I turned and took my hot little arse in the opposite direction and said “maybe!!”.
It had to be J LO in a moment like that. Moments that are needed sometimes in life and left me feeling like a little corona virus devil as I walked up the hill chuckling to myself and thinking, “Only in Wonderland”.
The lead up to that moment felt like it’s own little journey.
It started with a clarity of vision. It makes such a difference when things aren’t a blur.
Finally the arrival of those long awaited contact lenses. It felt like a miracle!!! Hallelujah!!!!
That Clarity continuing elsewhere as I asked a million questions made from all the thoughts spinning and twirling in my head. Like a thinking girls version of forest club. Throwing out questions like i do slut drops under the trees.
My curiosity in another providing a back and forth that opened up all sorts of interesting stuff that stretched my mind in ways that it often struggles to be stimulated. Mini questions tucked in amongst my curiosity which found me having to answer questions too. Why does it feel easier to think when someone else asks you. Feeling the need to provide honest answers with a bit of depth.
Seeing things in another’s story that resonate and hoping that perhaps things from mine might do the same for them. Maybe!!! It just feels nice to share with them.
After messaging a Final thought that had got lost in my tiredness last night, I decided to complete a quiz I was given.
About 30 questions later it left me feeling 98 per cent individual. I’m not sure where the other 2 per cent went 😊 but what a bloody marvellous way to start a day even though I realised that I also have less than a 50 per cent chance of ever being perfect, or achieving. I guess it’s the price I have to pay to be this piece of individual magic! 😂 otherwise known as poor.
I then found myself earning mine and someone else’s money as I exceeded my working hours in my conscientiousness, before I trotted off into the sunshine for my walk.
I realised today that I haven’t been in any other civilisation for the past 2 months beyond wonderland. I forget what the high street looks like but apparently the worldwide peace and love to all, is falling down slightly in the coop one way system, where there are all sorts of barneys happening with battles over the reduced doughnuts. Although there is something reassuring for me in knowing that a life I once knew still exists in some form, even if it is just someone calling a fellow customer an F ing C because they walked up the aisle the wrong way.
I had a proper spring in my step today as I listened to tunes that were landmarks of a longer journey.. the stepping stones. On my playlist but dished out to me one after the other via shuffle. Why does my phone seem to just know. Starting with a little brave .. then a feeling of, you don’t own me .. and finally, forest club can’t handle me. The song that was blasting in my ears as I stepped out of the trees to be welcomed onto the path by a man on his bike…
“Hello.. where did you come from hidden in the bushes”
It made me laugh especially as I replied “oh I’ve just been dancing in my club and
Then sitting in my tree house lair”
Lyrics that had just hit my ears
“Bring your body and let me switch up your atmosphere
I take you out the club and up in my new lair”
What followed was a back and forth of comedy gold.
“I haven’t seen you here before”
And my silent response of “I love that I feel like I’m being chatted up at forest club and how could we have missed each other before in this 5900 acres of woodland?”
Just Prior to my appearance I had been in by lair feeling great. The best I’ve felt in ages actually.
Something about admitting how small I felt in that room helped me to find some of that
confidence. I was feeling a little of it dancing around inside me as my tunes played and my shoulders shimmied.
Smiley confidence.. playful confidence.
Little by little feeling more of the girl that I recognise.
And I felt her as I responded
“Oh I’m in the forest everyday”
Rambling on about why I love it and how I love to dance.
A real conversation with a real person in the real world. It felt nice.
Questioned on when I might be there next and being very vague in my response which was met by “ well I’ll be in your club at 5pm tomorrow with a bottle. Maybe see you there”
Practically hearing my mum saying you can’t meet a random man in the middle of the forest. The devil in me wanting to rebel, but the rational in me thinking I just don’t really want to.
But of course I didn’t want to ruin the moment so JLO stepped in as I walked away.