The Friend

I’ve not wanted to write this week. Something happened that left me feeling sad and deflated.
Like a kid who lost her best friend.

I often hide how much things mean to me for fear of looking stupid but not in this case.
As I sat watching Bridge to Terabithia with my girl tonight, while eating our Cornish pasties she commented that I was like an adult version of Lesley.
The girl who is full of imagination.
It made me smile so much. She normally laughs at it but she said it in such a way that made me feel like she loved me for it.
I guess at some point I have to grow up and yet I’m not sure I will ever be ready to do that.

As I finished work today, with 3 weeks of paid freedom lying ahead of me, I felt like this was a gift of time that I have been dreaming of.
It felt like the school summer holidays had started,  as I polished up my bike, with excitement in readiness for forest adventures, and the time and freedom to let my imagination run wild and create what I hope will be the makings of something magical.
But hidden inside,  I am holding the quiet sadness of not feeling able to share that excitement with my friend.

 

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