Tonight I needed something to distract me so I’m reading and writing about nothing.
Firstly .. I was helping P with all the stuff he needed to sort out for his new job. Yes good news, half decent money and a little good feeling about himself. Progress. Although as we were trying to sort stuff I was trying not to laugh and he could see that and therefore was getting more annoyed with me.
I think these are the moments when I realise what a pampered life he had with me. I took care of absolutely everything. As he got pissed off and stressed about the little bags of stuff that needed to be filled with a couple of medical bits (I’ve had more intricate hand luggage toiletry bags when I’ve been on an overnight flight) I was busy cutting up bar codes and trying to keep him from exploding. He’ll be great chatting to people as he is very friendly and likeable but all this practical stuff.. it feels like he is rebuilding St. Paul’s cathedral.
He is a really intelligent man who is knowledgable on so much. I’ve seen him talk to those educated uni types with fancy job titles who have instantly talked down to him as though he must be as thick as shit, and are then left with nothing to contribute as he talks effortlessly about London history and architecture or worldwide history and politics or anything else that captures his interest. Or seen him become an international diplomat with cab drivers and waiters and bar staff of the world as he connects with them through the international language of football. Its beautiful to listen to. There is a confidence that hides underneath him which has over time been pushed down in this modern world where no one really talks about anything of any substance.
His cab was his bubble where he could have interesting conversations. He loved chatting with tourists and I imagine they loved talking with him. Getting the real deal as they say.
I grew up having so many interesting chats with him. He knows facts and I know feelings.
I think he would actually make a brilliant teacher for disengaged teenage kids. He would have more in common with them than he would with other teachers and those kids would relate to him on a level that would be helpful rather than those teachers that try to be “cool and down with the kids” but are usually completely clueless. He has the same frustrated rebellious don’t give a shit attitude as the kids with lots of hidden potential and they would relate to. Plus he’s a blokes bloke so he would laugh with them in the same way he does with his mates like they are all still 18 years old.
They can talk a lot of shit. They defy Darwins theory of evolution. Their boyish charm I suppose.
Anyways eventually I left him to it. It felt a bit like leaving him to sort Christmas. Where’s the turkey?!
I was also thinking about my appointment at the hospital in the morning. I finally started with a little self care 2 weeks ago when I visited the GP with the lump in my neck that has got bigger. They fast tracked me to tomorrow morning for a scan and that thing they put down your throat. I am sure it will be fine.
I’ve been really tired a lot and put it down to stress but just to be safe and sound I decided I should get it checked and so did the GP. The original Harley street doctor (that was free through my then job so you didn’t have any time out of that dealing room) that first clocked it when I was younger and told me to always get it checked for any changes. There are so many lymph nodes that they can easily become cancerous he said. Nice thought to carry along. Too much complication to have it removed they said so this will be my forth check in 20 years. I always feel a little anxious. Perhaps because I never want to be complacent.
I am without car as I have lent it to P for his job so he said he will drive me.
Sometimes life feels so very strange.
Anyways my distraction was star signs. I started reading about them in more detail which made me laugh so much especially as me and P are the same star sign and we could not be any more different.
I found myself reading other ones and thinking he is more like a Sagittarius and I feel like a Libra with a bit of Scorpio and a bit of cancer and a bit of Pisces, and a bit of Virgo
In other words it all felt like a lot of bollocks the more I read. A bit like going to a fortune teller and them saying you will meet a mysterious stranger 😂 is there any other kind. … For Scorpio it’s you are very passionate and love sex. Wow yes I do. And I do wake up every morning thinking like a teenage boy 😂 is every teenage boy a Scorpio?
In fact it turns out that every other star sign loves sex too, would you believe it?! Perhaps I will start wearing pvc and cracking my whip so that I can fit in yet another box. Anyways it made me laugh and on that note and I will go to sleep ..
Teenage boy dreams await 😊