Today I met Arthur in scrubs. Otherwise known as a 6ft 6 inc gentle giant consultant who looked after my “one stop shop” care today.
Does that include dinner and “coffee”?! I thought.
L will know that I have a strange attraction for intellectual gentle giants. There is nothing flash or in your face about them but I always seem to connect to them. The doctor, the writer, the editor……
They seem to turn up in moments when I least expect them and provide me with a smile as they awkwardly chat. Their social skills always slightly missing as they live so high up in the clouds.
Obviously doctor/patient was a completely different thing. But as he gently pushed my hair to one side and was feeling my neck I had to remind myself that this wasn’t one of those many fantasies that live inside my mind but in fact a real life examination to make sure I was fit and healthy.
3 hours later I left Mr Whippys with a good to go but we will monitor you. I will see you for a repeat appointment in a few months to check on things.
Can I fantasise that as a second date? Fock it yes I can 😊 We have to find our happiness wherever we can in these crazy ltimes.
Im beginning to feel more frivolous as I adjust to not having to be the good parent every single day and instead just being an independent woman who likes having fun.
As for gentle giant Arthur, he is almost the equivalent of the infamous porno secretary who removes her glasses and lets her hair cascade down in a wanton manner. My gentle giants are the intellects that seem to have the potential and promise of something more primal hidden beneath all their serious clever. I love the idea of that. Can the two things exist alongside each other?
I guess it’s the perfect version for me intellectual porn that is so attractive in being able to connect on a level beyond Neanderthal but with a little throw down Christian Grey style.
There is something much more sexy for me in it being hidden away and not very obvious under all that logic.
In reality the Arthurs always become my friends. The initial attraction of imagining what lies beneath never materialises as they hold all their thoughts and emotions inside and that drive to throw down just isn’t quite there.
I’m always left with a really beautiful and interesting friend which is probably much longer lasting but in a romantic relationship would always leave me frustrated.
Besides at this point I’m looking for something different.
I don’t want anything that is going to impede on my freedom. I want something where I can retain my own life and be who I am and let them do the same.
Being able to enjoy the pleasure of being with someone else while being free to do my own thing.
I’m not sure if that’s even possible.
But I do know that I have no wish to compromise in that.
And hopefully there will always be Arthur’s out there to make me smile and be my friends.