The Magic Trick

When I was a kid I wanted to be a magician. I tried to win the magic set in the raffle at school every year but it was never destined to be mine.
So I improvised with a handkerchief and a coin and a pack of cards.
I was never gonna be David Blaine, Dynamo, or even The Great Suprendo (piff puff poof) but I loved just pretending that I had magic.
What I really wanted though was to learn how to disappear.
To be able to vanish.

Everything feels so noisy and I am full of frustration with myself alongside sadness.
It feels like I have been struggling with different things for so long now that it has become my normal.
How did that happen?
I used to be the happiest person on the planet. I really did. It’s just crazy!!!
I don’t want anyone to see this girl so I find myself retreating into myself.
My magic trick.

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